Procrastination is the mother of excessive organisation

My socks are in pairs for the fist time in many moons. There are no longer random piles of books and university prospectuses strategically strewn on the floor. I have even rearranged my entire wardrobe, only to end up with everything back exactly where it was. I have been procrastinating all afternoon.

Although it feels to me like I have been busy today, none of the afore mentioned tasks will enrich my life in any way shape or form. I could argue that these pointless procrastinations are "a good job jobbed" (as my grandma would say). In reality I have been so restless today that I had the attention span of a gnat, leading to several random projects started and unfinished. I may as well have sprawled in front of the television for the lack of productivity in my day.

This situation is not easily remedied when there are so many devilish distractions lying in wait around the house. Culprit number 1 is of course the deadly television, followed closely by the depths of the internet. Depths that draw you in further and further until its an hour later and you still haven't looked up that word. Re-organising, list-making and tidying all fall under this category of useless diversions. On one occasion I found myself up to my eyebrows in old birthday cards, rammed into a shoebox for "safe-keeping".

Eventually the feeling passes and I find something to fasten my concentration to, then I must cling on to dear life so as not to lose focus again...

Pick up a Penguin Classic

Choose 100 literary classics from the last century....basically impossible right? At least impossible to fine-tune a list to suit as many people as possible. That's what The Guardian's John Crace has attempted with his new book Brideshead Abbreviated. His work was featured in G2 last wednesday*, six extracts of his summarised classics.

All the usual suspects can be found in Crace's top 100, from The Great Gatsby to Swann's Way. Crace said he broke it down into ten works per decade and limited each author to one piece. Although this is fair, I find it too clinical to logically catalogue artistic 'oeuvres'. You've got to hand it to him for putting in the leg work in deciding who and what would make the list, it must have involved a large amount of umm-ing and ahh-ing. In the first instance how do you decide on the criteria? Subject matter? Themes? Perception? Style? Length?  

Take it with a pinch of salt. One man's opinion on the status of twentieth century literature, did he decide on his favourites or was he aiming to please? Who was he aiming to please?

Crace's recently released book is a collection of these 100 novels abbreviated into roughly 700 words a piece in the style of so-and-so. Having read the six extracts in the newspaper I will not be buying this book. Arrogant and belittling. Crace's stylistic imitations have a mocking air, intentionally or not, and the notion that a 700 word precis gives the same effect as reading the original is outrageous. As an english literature student, exploring a text in its entirety with nuances of implicit meaning is fascinating to me. Not suggesting that we must write coursework essays on every book we read for a full experience, I want to emphasise that reading the full work is so much more rewarding than one man's take on it. 

If the goal of Brideshead Abbreviated is "now you don't need to read all these great novels but you can feel like you have" then I fundamentally disagree. Particularly with the idea that there is pressure to have read the entire literary canon. This is unrealistic and unnecessary, people should enjoy reading, period, read any genre any author as long as they enjoy it. It is a sign of a consumer society that todays readers may want to have read (a version of) all the classics now. Before I delve deeper into the crevices of this mountainous debate I'll cut to the chase... Yes a summary of 100 classics will display a fresh interpretation and if it inspires readers to read the full version then great! However I take issue with the idea that one has to have read all the 'greats' to be accepted as a wide reader and I feel that Crace could have been more tactful when interpreting and imitating each style. 

I must add that I generally agree with the selection -  which "[reflects] the consensual view of the western literary canon rather than trying to reshape it." and I know next to nothing about what makes something 'great'. Let's hope that Crace's work inspires more people to pick up a penguin classic...

Guardian Feature

The brilliance of a glass sandwich bag

Hunting through the seemingly infinite depths of online shops I am mystified by the amazing creativity and vast variety of things we can purchase online. 

From mainstream favourites ASOS and Topshop to my new favourite website RockettStGeorge everything you could ever want is literally underneath your fingertips. I am a product of consumerism to the highest degree, but I'm ok with it. I love those unique things to be found when you aren't even looking. Although it is a little frustrating when you only meant to google something for an essay and you ended up spending an hour analysing the virtual merits of various handbags, most of which are too expensive *sigh*.

The internet is a perfect, free outlet for creativity. The retail industry favours chains and mass production leaving out the opportunity to be unique and everyone ends up wearing the same topshop dress. Take Rocket St George as an example of individuality as they sell products I had never considered before, a glass bowl designed to look like a standing up sandwich bag to name but one genius kitchen accessory. I kid you not, it is possibly the coolest bowl I've ever seen. I'm inspired by the ingenuity of these kinds of things, that will make you smile smugly every time someone asks "ooh where did you get that".

We all know the pessimistic problems with online shopping "you don't get to try it on first" or "you don't realise how much you spend" blah blah blah... Let me put it this way: if it doesn't fit? send it back, and get real, you know exactly how much you've spent. When you can buy things whilst in your pyjamas at 11 o clock at night, I think that's pretty great.

I will concede its not preferable to spend our every waking second browsing the internet, we all need to get out and be sociable. I am not encouraging everyone to become a Howard Hughes recluse. It is an added bonus of the modern world that we have the option of easy peasy shopping. You can scour the stock as many times as you like and always come back for more. Even better that it doesn't matter what your self-esteem level is at whilst you shop. Online there is no pressure from a judgemental shop assistant or pretentious minimalistic shop design "sorry I came here looking for a coat but you appear to have hidden the clothes from me in order to look tidy/modern/intimidating".

Style-note emails are a phenomenon about which I am undecided. I have been inspired to try out something new prompted by the input to my inbox from ASOS and Net-A-Porter. However I can't escape the feeling of being subject to extreme, unapologetic product placement. As if my free-will is being stripped from me and it would be rude not to at least look at the outfit being advertised as I sift through my emails. 

Mission Accomplished. The online shops have hooked me in and now I'm in I can't stop.

I will continue to shop in real shops, with my friends who can offer me their opinion on how I look in something before I buy it. I will also continue to cheer myself up and/or procrastinate with a spot of internet shopping, looking for something new to make me smile.

Some of my favourite websites

Rockett St George - especially the wall stickers

Totally Funky - I love the bags on here

Not on the High Street - brilliant for present buying

Urban Outfitters

ASOS.com

Please please please let me know of any little gems of websites that you like, and what do you think about my favourites?

In response to "school food" what-katie-did

Having read Katie's post this evening http://what-katie-did-blog.blogspot.com/2010/10/school-food.html, I felt the need to reply...and agree:


Tuna and coleslaw is most definitely not a good sandwich filler I am with you on that one. Coleslaw alone is a confusing concept, is it a sauce? a filling? or something in between. Whoever thought it up, should not be allowed anywhere near a carrot if that's what they plan on doing with it. Cheese and marmite however is the best sandwich filler ever in my book and I am left wondering why it has yet to make the school canteen shelves.

Katie I totally agree that no-one cares about the coffee, tea should of course take pride of place. I still haven't sampled the tuna-trifle but you have inspired/intrigued me to give it a go, do I dare?

The magic of raining meatballs...

The other night I watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". It was the latest dvd to fly through our letterbox from lovefilm - I say fly because on saturday the post was launched through the door with such force that it made me jump out of my seat. I would like to tell you that how this charming children's cartoon made it to our lovefilm list is a holmes-esque mystery to me. Except that really I love a good cartoon - who doesn't - and it may or may not have been me to suggest it...

As far as films go, this one has got it all. Not only are the characters vivid and funny, the graphics are so good I almost believed that it was actually raining cheeseburgers. Not to mention the moral of the story - gluttony is rubbish, the romantic interest and a truck-load of topical references for the benefit of the over 11s. Let's not forget the brilliantly portrayed father-son relationship and the nerve shredding will-he-won't-he-make-it part. In other words this film is an action-rom-com-cartoon-allegory all wrapped up into a "children's cartoon"

The gluttony was laid on thick in a 'in case you didn't notice, we're saying greed is bad' kind of way. This worked in favour of a film that makes you crave all your favourite foods all at once and right at that second.  Yes I munched my way through several chunks of cake as I watched but I didn't feel good about it.

All things considered there is a lot to be said for your average children's cartoon; educational, fun and witty, there is something for everyone. I'm off to watch Aladdin (arguably the best film ever)

p.s If you haven't seen Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, watch it and let me know how much you loved it

p.p.s If you haven't seen Aladdin there is something wrong with you, go and ask a parent why you had such  a deprived childhood then watch it over and over again to make up for lost time.