Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Glands up, Gloves off.

I am under attack from the vicious army of the Common Cold. A veritable squadron of coughs, sniffs and sneezes. Not to mention the hammering headache and a sore throat.

Put it simply, I have possibly the most boring illness ever. Anyone can get a cold, in fact, it seems everyone has a cold at the moment. Why not "I'm ill my nose is falling off" or "I have Unicorn Flu". The Common Cold (even its name) seriously lacks the creativity that I look for in the world. Not only is it a mundane ailment, having a cold makes you feel horrendous, yet just well enough that you feel guilty for taking a day off from busy busy life to lie in bed watching the OC boxsets. To add insult to illness, a cold has the power to completely eradicate your social life in one full sneeze after you've wiped yourself out at work/school/[insert something you have to do here].

The Beast of a cold I am currently fighting is particularly menacing and is attacking me from all angles, like I said, the gloves are off. Not fun. Yesterday, I awoke from a terrible night's sleep with a temperature, killer headache and when I attempted to blow my nose I managed to make myself so dizzy I had to sit down. Ding Ding Round One. I must admit I took the day off work. I was in no shape to look after children, unable to extract myself from my tangled sheets as I was.

Ding Ding, Round 2, I had to flake out on going for dinner with my friends. However at least it was already looking unlikely that we'd get there. Due to the inconsiderate dump of snow we had last saturday which will not budge, or melt.

Round 3, and I think I might be winning the war, even If I lost the last few battles. Feeling a little better, at least I'll be going to work tomorrow. Note to self, don't cough over the young children. Headache hammering away like the blacksmith who made the dagger that is stuck in my throat...nothing a neurofen/strepsil combo won't fix.

As ever I will try to scrape a positive spin from the bottom of the proverbial barrel. I can think of two benefits to this unimaginative and inconvenient cold.
1) I spent all day yesterday watching The OC which I thoroughly enjoyed
2) at least I caught this cold with plenty of time to beat it into submission by Christmas Day
and (Spanish Inquisition style*) 3) the snow is keeping me indoors anyway

So aside from giving me time to drool over Adam Brody, this cold sucks. Whats more is that I had finally relaxed after a ridiculously busy few weeks. Now the smug ones amongst my readership will preach that its 'textbook' to become ill in the holidays. The theory goes that we run ourselves ragged for however many weeks, relax, then BAM there it is, a stupid cold right in your face (literally). I'll admit I have been known to opine something to this effect in the past. However, those of you who are not currently coughing up your lungs over a mug of lemsip, the one sneezing all over you every 5 minutes does not want to know your stress/relaxation theory. Is it going to make them better? No. So don't even bother, it is not worth the grumpy croak of abuse that they will try to cough in your direction.

One thing I am determined to do is beat this petty, tedious sneeze-a-thon by Christmas, I will not let myself be ill, and anyone reading this I need your moral support. Anyone reading with a stinker of a cold like me, you have my sympathies and I hope you feel better soon.

At least my Christmas shopping/wrapping is done and ready, bring on Christmas Day!

Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for reading :)

*If you don't know what I am referring to, get listening to Monty Python now. Right now. No delays. I mean it.

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