Just swallow it! Now!

Sat in my room with a mouthful of water. In that mouthful is a capsule of penicillin. Next to me is my mother. Both of us are trying everything we can think of to deceive my body into swallowing the pill. Several gulps and many erratic arm gestures later I managed to get it down - and of course it was fine. Swallowing tablets is one of those things that comes easily to many and is a source of much fear, frustration and embarrassent for others.

I am not afraid of swallowing pills, I know that I swallow food in much bigger chunks, I know that the pill will make me feel better and I know that I won't even notice it when I actually swallow it. So why is it that I gulp-down all the water in my mouth and there, left on my tongue, is a soggy, semi-dissolved pill. No matter how much I rationalise, it takes a great deal of time and effort to trick my body into going against natural instinct. Is it just that swallowing without chewing first is unnatural? In that case surely survival instinct should counter-act this with the notion that medicine will help us get better? I suppose natural instinct cannot be taught about modern medicine can it?

There are several options for someone who, like me, has trouble gulping down pills:
1 - don't get ill. ever. pills are not for healthy people - unfortunately we have little control over this
2 - when ill, pretend not to be, or that you don't need medicine
3 - whenever possible use melting/dissolving/chewy pills - how odd it would be to find one that does all three?!
4 - Leave it until you absolutely cannot wait any longer then spend ten minutes awkwardly pacing around a room with a mouthful of water until it magically disappears...then celebrate until the next dose is required.

I think the message here is to all of you fellow pill-phobics: Take heart that you are not alone, it is not wussy and you have a much stronger anti-choking survival instinct in you than others. And to those of you who casually chuck 4 pills to the back of your throat, have sympathy for your less cavalier friends, and understand that saying "Just swallow it! Now!" does not help. Ever.